Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
