wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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