You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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