if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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