Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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