Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
