another moral hangover. fuck.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
