why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
