how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
