I didn't shave. On purpose
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
