Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
