it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
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He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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