i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize