Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
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watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
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Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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