That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
