Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
