maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
