soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
