you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
