Me too!
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
