I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
