Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
