Im at strip club and am horny
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
