Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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