I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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