peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize