Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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