Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
