He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You left your phone here
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