too bad you live with your parents still
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Randomize
