You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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