what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
