on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
i need some magic done to my vagina
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I licked your asshole in confidence.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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