It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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