i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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