She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
