so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
