I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
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