Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
