So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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