Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
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As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
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I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
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