I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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