it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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