Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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