i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
