Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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