Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
