This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
