I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
