I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I faked an abortion last night.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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