Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
