I just saw a hot homeless man
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Randomize
