Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize