I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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