I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
