im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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