"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
