I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
