bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize
