hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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