I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
