Having a random hookup so left but love u
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
